I’m fighting this one as I don’t wish to present anybody with a step-by-step course of on the way to kill ones self. However that is principally for my befit and remembering what the top I used to be pondering after I did this. This isnt to let you know how to do that, that is to point out you the idiocy of what I used to be doing and pondering.
When you have been studying my earlier posts, you might be most likely choosing up that I’m not a fan of weapons. I had by no means personal one previous to the one which I bought to kill myself. I had no thought what to search for in a gun. I did not really want it to have too many bells and whistles since I did not anticipate to make use of it greater than as soon as. Thats a reasonably unhealthy joke however its true.
It was July 2, 2017. A typical sizzling summer time day in Virginia. My spouse and I had one other struggle that morning. I can not say I do know what it was about. I used to be in a extremely darkish place and wasn’t all that nice. I do vividly keep in mind saying to her that she by no means considers how she makes others really feel. At that time, nothing she may have mentioned would have made me really feel higher and I used to be doubtless deflecting. I hopped on my bike and drove to the the closest Cabela’s to have a look at their weapons. At that time, I did not actually have a selected plan in thoughts, simply that I knew that I wanted a gun to make it occur.
I’m 6’2, 260 lbs and strutting in all the swagger of somebody driving an enormous V-Twin bike. I’ve a suspicion that as I approached the show case, the blokes behind them figured that I knew what I wished and it might be a fast transaction.
“Morning, what are you searching for?”
“Um, undecided. I suppose I’m simply trying proper now”
“OK, simply holler when that you must see one thing.”
Truthfully, I had no clue what I used to be searching for. I simply wished one thing that I may put bullets in and shoot them. However as I checked out all the handguns, I made a decision I wanted one thing cool trying. I suppose the notion of somebody discovering me with a gap in my head and a lame handgun in my hand was simply unacceptable.
So I held a couple of, trying like a knew what I used to be doing, and chosen a Smith and Wesson SD40. Under is an image of it. Appears to be like kinda manly and funky, does not it?
In case you mentioned sure, you might be mistaken.
I feel it was $350 or one thing like that. I mentioned that I’ll take it however earlier than I may wrap up my new buy, I needed to cross a background verify. This needed to be the stupidest course of I’ve ever skilled.
The man directed me to a pc and had me fill out some questions. After a couple of minutes, I discovered that I failed the background verify. I mentioned that I had no thought why I’d have failed, I’ve no felonies or something uncommon. The truth is, I had a authorities clearance and should you can cross a type of, you positive as hell ought to be capable of cross a gun background verify. That is the place it acquired bizarre.
The man, who I discovered was a police officer, choosing up some facet money at Cabela’s, instructed that I retake the verify and this time, I ought to rethink my solutions and alter some. That I could have been over pondering some or one of many questions. He then smiled and winked at me. I answered all of them truthfully. however then went I went again and retook it, this query jumped out at me:
Are you an illegal person of, or hooked on, marijuana or any depressant, stimulant, narcotic drug, or every other managed substance?
You recognize the drill and I are not looking for this to look flip, however in case you are hurting and want to speak to somebody, please name the Suicide Prevention hotline at 800-273-8255.
