“Two alpha males unloading on one another.”
“Two excessive company males going at it.”
“Alpha versus alpha!”
Politics, however make it homosexual!
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Are these teasers for a lascivious homosexual movie, or the way in which Ted Cruz and MAGA influencers are describing the cartoonishly catty feud between Elon Musk and D*nald Tr*mp?
Should you guessed the latter, you’ll be right!
With Tr*mp and Elon throwing haymakers in direction of one another on social media–just like the manly males they’re–a parade of sycophants are falling over themselves to slurp up their mess and regurgitate speaking factors. To shift the narrative, they’re pushing the concept that Musk and the 78-year-old president are hypermasculine warriors, engaged in a high-octane sword struggle that solely true masters of the commerce would perceive.
Yeah… that doesn’t sound homosexual in any respect. Comfortable Delight!
The coincidence of Tr*mp and Elon’s blow up occurring in the beginning of Delight Month hasn’t been misplaced on anyone, particularly with World Delight taking up D.C. this weekend. To paraphrase Stefon (a real homosexual icon), this conflict has all the things: bloated bellies, inflated egos, an infinite provide of scorching air.
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The cataclysmic breakup between the president and Elon has been simmering for weeks. After hijacking the primary months of the administration with a chainsaw–and gutting federal businesses and international assist packages within the course of–Elon’s political affect began to wane when he went all-in on a Supreme Courtroom race in Wisconsin… and the conservative candidate misplaced by almost 11 factors.
Initially promising to shred $2 trillion from the federal finances, Elon and his band of early 20-something right-wing apparatchiks now say they only saved $180 billion, and even that determine is wildly exaggerated.
The reality is, D.O.G.E. didn’t wind up saving cash in any respect. Federal spending is actually up from last year’s pace, reportedly main Tr*mp to ask his advisors if Elon was promoting him “bullish*t?”
Regardless of Elon’s failed guarantees–and an obvious severe addiction to ketamine–Tr*mp saved his criticism of the world’s richest particular person non-public. When Elon left the White Home final Friday, that they had a heat sendoff within the Oval Workplace, regardless that Elon confirmed as much as the occasion with a black eye.
It was the quintessential metaphor for this week’s occasions.
After railing in opposition to the GOP’s large home spending invoice for weeks, Elon went full board Thursday on X. Losing little time, he hit Tr*mp precisely the place it harm. He claimed that Tr*mp would’ve misplaced the election if it weren’t for his $250 million and fixed campaigning, after which bemoaned the “ingratitude.”
Pouring proverbial kerosine on the hearth, Elon then claimed Tr*mp was within the salacious “Jeffrey Epstein information,” and that’s why they haven’t been launched.
By no means one to again away from a public spat, our Broadway-loving president threatened to cancel Elon’s authorities contracts and stated he was “carrying skinny.”
“I requested him to depart,” he posted on his social media platform, Truth Social.
On Friday morning, the president was speaking like any individual who’s mourning a good friend.
Ouch! The Actual Housewives may by no means. Talking of which…
However in contrast to the Housewives, who remedy their spats in-person at fancy dinners and occasions, Tr*mp and Elon are hiding behind their social media accounts. The president, who loves gabbing on the telephone like a real previous queen, stated Friday he doesn’t intend to speak to Elon.
He’s even selling his Tesla!
In flip, Elon is unfollowing MAGA-related accounts on X.
😢
With an absurd backstory like that, it’s exhausting to take both man significantly. However fortunately, the job doesn’t fall to us.
It falls to folks like Ted Cruz, who’s resorted to lusting. On his most up-to-date podcast, the Texas senator stated Elon and the president are “two alpha males who’re pissed off.”
And what do two pissed off alpha males do? They unload on one another.
“Sadly,” Cruz provides.
Positive factor, Lyin’ Ted…
We’ve written extensively in regards to the far-right’s infatuation with homoerotic imagery. The contradictions of conservative masculinity dates again many years, and now largely personifies itself within the type of very weird memes.
Jack Posobiec, one of many authentic MAGA bootlickers, performed completely into the stereotype together with his description of the occasions.
Belief us, buddy. We’re. Phallocentric communication is our experience.
Given our alpha male experience–sorry, “excessive company” males–we’re fairly snug saying that Tr*mp and Elon aren’t behaving in a really masc method. Within the phrases of AOC, the women are certainly combating.
However not in the event you ask MAGA devotee Joey Mannarino.
“That is what alpha versus alpha appears like,” he posted.
He would know!
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