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Home Mental Health Anxiety & Depression

I just want to shave…

MindNell by MindNell
02/06/2025
in Anxiety & Depression
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I just want to shave…
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After the morning assembly, all of us shuffled down the corridor in direction of a big room that doubled because the cafeteria and the household visitation room.  The stroll all the way down to the cafeteria was a journey of marvel and pleasure.  Would we now have crepes?  Belgium waffles?  Salmon and capers on New York bagels?  The anticipation was sufficient to interrupt out the lorazepam.  

However earlier than making it to our vacation spot, we’d cease by a small room to get morning drugs and have our vitals taken.  On the primary day, I requested the tech taking my blood strain for a razor in order that I may get the week of development that was overtaking my face.  With out wanting up at me, the younger woman instructed me that I wanted to ask the cost nurse for permission on the morning assembly tomorrow.  

Permission?  

Oh, that is proper; a number of of us in right here need to kill ourselves.  Alright, not terribly sudden.  So I needed to wait one other day.  Rattling.  Having accomplished my newly elevated dosage of Zoloft, I used to be persevering with my journey to see what culinary delights awaited me.  

As I entered the cafeteria I used to be upset to not see a buffet line or a carving station.  No massive desk of minimize recent fruit.  What I discover was a beautiful unfold of pre-wrapped cinnamon rolls and juices in small cups, just like what you’d use for a urine specimen. And once I say pre-wrapped, I imply the sort you see at a 7-11.  Nothing which may require a knife, as a result of, properly…its a knife.  And everyone knows how a lot injury one can do with plastic ones.  Okay, I suppose if you’re actually decided, you might handle an excellent welt with a plastic knife.  

Lets quick ahead to the morning assembly on day two once we are all going round and speaking about our objectives for the day.  When it was my flip, I mentioned I wished to get a razor so I may shave.  

“It’s essential place it as a aim”

WTF

“I simply need to shave.”

“How will you make it a aim?”

At this level, I now really feel just like the monkey tied to a music field, holding up a cup for cash from passerby’s. 

“Want to construct the belief of the workers to achieve entry to a razor.”

“Good job, lets see how the day goes.”

Clink

On the finish of the day, I used to be given 5 minutes with a razor below the watchful eye of one of many techs.  And only a phrase of recommendation, dont count on to get a shave just like the standard of a Gillette.  Consider utilizing your spouse or girlfriend’s razor that they use on their legs for the previous month.  

The purpose of this posting was the fact of being in a psych unit; you’re there to indicate them that you’re making progress, not a lot about truly making progress.  As soon as you’re previous the stabilization stage and you’re now not a hazard to your self or others, you’re there to indicate them that.  This was a troublesome one for me.  It started to really feel like an enormous energy wrestle.  And till I used to be prepared to simply accept that, it might be a really painful keep.  

Having mentioned this, for those who need assistance, get it.  Dont do that alone.  Some individuals want the security of a psych unit.  And admittedly, I suppose I did, too.  However know entering into that its not a magical place the place individuals are there to heal you.  They’re there to “cease the bleeding.”  They need to get you protected and out of disaster and get you out.  And alongside the best way, deal with you a bit like a skilled monkey.  



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