9.14.22-11.26.22
After we first realized that Austin can be admitted to Rocky Mountain Hospital for Kids PICU for open coronary heart surgical procedure at 3 weeks outdated, we have been nervous and anxious for what was forward. Nonetheless, nothing would actually put together us for what the following 53 days would deliver.
The sensation of leaving your child within the arms of one other is daunting and emotional however we by no means doubted for one second that the workers didn’t love him as if he was their very own. It made our hearts heat listening to their particular person tales and moments with Austin. From snuggle time, to bottle time, and rubbing his fluffy brown hair. There is no such thing as a doubt that each single certainly one of them fought and pushed alongside Austin every day.
It might be a mislead say that Austin didn’t have odds in opposition to him. Throughout being pregnant, we realized I had velamentous wire insertion, requiring shut monitoring. Moreover, we needed to go to a excessive danger OBGYN for a further ultrasound to ensure Austin’s coronary heart chambers developed correctly (all the pieces appeared OK on the time). At 37 weeks of being pregnant, I started having hypertension and my physician determined it was time to deliver Austin into the world early. We shortly packed our luggage and headed to the hospital.
Nonetheless, Austin didn’t at all times wish to go by the ebook and was the captain of his personal ship. Throughout labor, he flipped right into a breech place and we needed to bear an emergency c-section. When the physician pulled Austin out, his whole physique was wrapped within the umbilical wire and the wire was barely connected to the placenta. It was a miracle he made it and that’s after we knew Austin was particular.
Instantly upon delivery, Austin struggled to breathe and was admitted to the NICU. He spent 6 days there the place we have been advised he was a candidate for VACTERL. He was recognized with a butterfly vertebrae, kidney fullness, sacral dimple, and a number of other coronary heart defects (proper aortic arch, VSD, and ASD). Nonetheless, on the time, we didn’t know he additionally had a really uncommon remoted left pulmonary artery (inflicting PPHN) as this was laborious to detect on the ultrasound and would later be detected at his cath. Listening to these phrases scared us as dad and mom however we’d at all times love him and attempt to give him the most effective life doable, no matter what disabilities he could have had.
Austin was discharged from the NICU with observe ups to the heart specialist in just a few weeks. He was house for 16 days earlier than going again to the hospital for a cath after a number of verify ups on the pediatrician confirmed low oxygen ranges, excessive respiratory charges, and steady battle to achieve weight. These days have been crammed with a lot of love and reminiscences we are going to cherish without end. Though trying again, he could haven’t been able to go house, we’re so grateful we had the time collectively. He bought to satisfy his huge brother Aidan and we are going to make sure to remind him all about Austin sooner or later when he’s sufficiently old to know.
It’s overwhelming to consider the ups and downs we encountered after Austin’s first shunt surgical procedure. I keep in mind that day prefer it was yesterday. Kissing Austin goodbye as he was wheeled all the way down to the OR. We have been so happy with how robust he was and couldn’t wait to carry him afterwards. Nonetheless, different plans have been made when Austin coded and was positioned on ECMO. The group did all the pieces doable to attempt to get him off however sadly Austin advised us he was lastly achieved combating. Like our surgeon at all times mentioned: we need to do issues for him and to not him.
When the day got here that it was time to say goodbye to Austin, the docs and nurses have been proper subsequent to us each step of the way in which. Nothing can ever put together you for the toughest day of your life however one way or the other it felt stunning on the similar time. Holding Austin as he took his final breath and went onto his subsequent journey. He was not in ache – he may relaxation, we may all relaxation.
Austin taught us extra about life in his quick time on Earth than we ever knew doable. All the time inform folks you like them, cherish not solely the massive moments however the small moments, stay on a regular basis to the fullest, by no means choose somebody since you don’t know what they’re going via, to call just a few. We miss and lengthy for him dearly every day however we attempt our hardest to honor him and stay our life as if he’s nonetheless with us in spirit. I can’t say that the ache will ever go away as a result of I don’t assume it would however it simply modifications form and type. Simply since you appear like you carry it properly, doesn’t imply the grief will not be heavy.
Till subsequent time our candy angel boy.
Love, mother, dad, and Aidan
