When somebody you care about resides with dementia, it’s not simply reminiscence that adjustments. You would possibly begin noticing uncommon behaviors—possibly they begin yelling extra typically, or they comply with you round the home consistently. It’d really feel complicated and even irritating. However right here’s one thing essential to grasp—generally, these actions are simply their means of claiming, “I want you. Please discover me.”
Many individuals with dementia do sure issues simply to get consideration as a result of they’re scared, confused, or lonely.
They may cry, act out, repeat issues, and even turn into aggressive—not as a result of they wish to be troublesome, however as a result of they wish to really feel seen and heard.
1. Repeating the Identical Query Once more and Once more
This is without doubt one of the most typical issues I see in individuals with dementia. They ask the same thing over and over, even should you simply answered a minute in the past. It’s not as a result of they forgot your reply (though reminiscence loss is an element), however actually because they wish to maintain you engaged. They don’t wish to be ignored, and asking a query is their means of pulling you again in.
They may ask, “The place is my daughter?” or “What time is lunch?” 5 instances in ten minutes. It will probably check your persistence, however should you look carefully, you’ll see they’re making an attempt to attach.
2. Pretending to Have Extra Ache Than They Really Do
Some individuals with dementia will say one thing hurts when it doesn’t. Why? As a result of once they say “my again hurts” or “my leg is killing me,” they discover that folks come nearer, communicate softly, and present concern.
Ache will get consideration. And if somebody feels emotionally uncared for or overlooked, they might use this technique—generally with out even realizing it. They simply know that saying “it hurts” brings consolation.
3. Crying or Whining Loudly for No Clear Purpose
If an individual with dementia all of the sudden begins crying out loud, moaning, or whining and not using a clear trigger, it may not be about bodily ache. They might be expressing emotional misery.
This type of crying is usually a option to say, “I want firm” or “I really feel scared.” They could not have the phrases to say what they really feel, so that they specific it with sound.
4. Getting Offended or Beginning Arguments
You could be shocked to know that anger can sometimes be a type of attention-seeking. An individual would possibly choose a battle over one thing small—like refusing to eat or saying one thing imply.
This doesn’t at all times imply they’re really offended. What’s actually occurring is that they really feel misplaced or confused, and beginning an argument provides them management or brings you nearer to them—even when the eye isn’t optimistic.
5. Clinging to One Individual Continuously
It’s quite common for dementia sufferers to become attached to one person—often somebody they really feel secure with. They may comply with this particular person from room to room or refuse to be left alone.
This isn’t simply neediness. It’s concern and insecurity. They don’t perceive the whole lot round them, so that they maintain on to the one factor that feels acquainted and secure.
6. Faking Confusion in Entrance of Strangers or Guests
Some dementia sufferers act extra confused when different individuals are round. You would possibly discover they all of the sudden “don’t bear in mind” one thing they knew this morning, or they exaggerate their reminiscence issues in entrance of a customer.
This is usually a means of drawing consideration or sympathy. Guests often turn into softer, extra mild, and extra caring once they see confusion. It’s a unconscious option to get emotional assist.
7. Refusing Meals or Treatment
Refusing to eat or take pills is usually a type of silent protest or a cry for consideration. It may also be about management—once they really feel they’ve misplaced management over the whole lot else, refusing meals or drugs turns into a strong transfer.
It’s like saying, “Discover me. I’m nonetheless right here, and I’ve a alternative.”
8. Making Up Tales That Didn’t Occur
Generally, individuals with dementia will begin telling wild tales. They may say somebody stole their cash or that they noticed somebody exterior the window. These items is probably not true, however they seize consideration.
They is probably not mendacity on function. Their mind is confused, and these tales assist them make sense of the world—or get others to cease and hearken to them for some time.
9. Dressing Improperly or Taking Garments Off in Public
Odd dressing habits and even undressing in entrance of others might be surprising, however it’s one thing many caregivers take care of. It might not at all times be about discomfort—it might be a means to attract somebody’s consideration quick.
They could not understand how else to specific that one thing feels mistaken, or they might wish to be observed and helped.
10. Wandering Off With out Warning
Wandering is a serious security concern. However at instances, it might occur as a result of the particular person needs somebody to return discover them. In the event that they really feel ignored or overlooked, wandering turns into a option to get observed—particularly in the event that they understand that folks begin looking out once they’re gone.
It’s not at all times about wanting to depart. Generally, it’s nearly being seen and cared for.
Why Do Dementia Sufferers Search Consideration?
This query typically comes up, particularly from caregivers who’re drained and overwhelmed. Right here’s the factor—individuals with dementia aren’t “faking it” or being dramatic. They’re struggling.
Their mind isn’t working the way in which it used to. Their world feels smaller, scarier, and extra complicated. A lot of them really feel invisible, forgotten, or ineffective. So, they search for methods to really feel essential once more.
I recommend you watch this youtube video by Dr Natalie
Consideration is not only about noise or fuss—it’s about human connection. It’s about needing somebody to see them, contact them, speak to them, and remind them they nonetheless matter.
How Can You Assist With out Getting Burnt Out?
You don’t have to present nonstop consideration 24/7. However listed here are some concepts to fulfill their emotional wants in small, manageable methods:
| What They Do | What You Can Attempt As an alternative |
|---|---|
| Repeat questions | Sit with them and speak gently for five minutes |
| Pretend ache | Supply contact—like a hand rub or smooth hug |
| Cry or moan | Ask, “Do you’re feeling lonely?” and supply a peaceful second |
| Begin arguments | Keep calm, validate their emotions, then distract |
| Wander round | Give them a easy job or one thing to carry |
| Refuse meals | Ask what’s bothering them or supply a small deal with |
| Make tales | Pay attention, then gently shift to a secure subject |
These don’t take a lot time however could make an enormous distinction.
Key Factors to Keep in mind
- Dementia sufferers search consideration as a result of they really feel scared or lonely
- Repeating questions is commonly a name for firm
- Pretend ache or crying could also be a necessity for emotional care
- Anger and arguments would possibly come from confusion, not hatred
- Clinging to at least one particular person is about security and belief
- Refusing meals or drugs is usually a option to get management
- Odd behaviors like undressing or wandering typically sign misery
- Made-up tales could also be a cry for consideration or understanding
- Consideration-seeking is just not manipulation—it’s human want
- A bit of persistence and kindness go a great distance
Thanks for studying. I hope the article helped. When you’ve got any questions, remark beneath. And share with family and friends on social media.
