When my son Joshua was first identified with developmental delays—and later with autism—our lives modified in profound methods. The impression wasn’t simply emotional; it was deeply systemic. We entered a world not designed for households like ours.
Joshua Sturdivant
Our story started with quiet questions. Why wasn’t Joshua responding like different youngsters his age? Why did sure environments overwhelm—or utterly underwhelm—him? Why did I really feel one thing was off, but nobody appeared to grasp?
As a Black mom, I rapidly discovered that my voice usually carried much less weight in medical and academic areas. My issues had been minimized, our experiences misunderstood. That actuality hit exhausting throughout my first dialogue with Joshua’s pediatrician. I left feeling dismissed—like I used to be overreacting to what I knew had been important gaps in my son’s responses to the world round him.
So let me say this clearly to different dad and mom: If you happen to aren’t being heard, discover somebody who will pay attention. You’re the knowledgeable in your baby. Belief your instincts.
The Lengthy Street to Analysis
Like many dad and mom, I first chalked up Joshua’s habits to character or developmental tempo. However by 18 months, he had only a few phrases. He pointed as an alternative of talking. He averted eye contact. The indicators had been refined—however persistent.
After experiencing problem swallowing, Joshua’s pediatrician referred him for a Barium Swallow research. The outcomes revealed his gag reflex hadn’t absolutely developed. He was identified with developmental delays and started receiving early intervention companies. Fortunately, these interventions helped him make significant progress. However deep down, I nonetheless felt there was extra we hadn’t uncovered.
Finally, our therapy workforce beneficial autism testing. Saying sure to that course of was emotionally sophisticated—not as a result of I feared the analysis, however as a result of I understood the challenges Black boys already face in our society. Including a incapacity to the equation felt like one other heavy layer. However I additionally knew that avoiding the reality wouldn’t serve my baby.
After receiving the autism analysis, we entered one more maze: the service supplier consumption course of. Regardless of my background as a licensed scientific social employee, I encountered repeated delays, dismissiveness, and a troubling lack of cultural sensitivity. Sadly, this isn’t uncommon. Analysis exhibits that Black youngsters are identified later and misdiagnosed extra usually—incessantly lacking crucial home windows for early help.
Let me be clear: The sooner autism is recognized, the earlier significant help can start. For households like mine, these helps usually really feel out of attain.
When the Methods Fall Quick
Navigating companies turned a full-time job. Types. Jargon. Waitlists. Denials. Even with my skilled coaching, the method was overwhelming.
However paperwork was solely a part of the issue. The larger situation was discovering professionals who really noticed us. Too usually, suppliers introduced assumptions to the desk. They checked out us by a lens of deficit. I used to be talked over, second-guessed, and subtly criticized—generally all in the identical appointment.
Cultural competence isn’t just a checkbox. It means listening with out assumptions, respecting lived expertise, and resisting the urge to “repair” what is just totally different. It means assembly households like mine with humility, not pity—with partnership, not paternalism.
Dad and mom are the specialists on their youngsters. We want professionals who acknowledge that and act accordingly.
What Helped Us Thrive
Amid all of the challenges, there have been vibrant moments.
The suppliers who listened with out judgment. The neighborhood packages welcomed us with out hoops. The relations who leaned in with open hearts as an alternative of questions.
However most of all, what helped was shifting the narrative: Joshua was not an issue to resolve—he was a baby to grasp and rejoice.
We discovered to advocate fiercely, love boldly, and construct a help system that mirrored who we’re—not who the system assumed we needs to be.
What I Need Different Dad and mom to Know
If you happen to’re simply starting this journey, please know:
- You aren’t alone.
- Your issues are legitimate.
- Your voice issues.
- And your baby—your stunning, advanced baby—deserves to be seen absolutely, not partially.
To the professionals who work with households like mine: thanks. However I encourage you to continue to grow. Cultural responsiveness shouldn’t be non-compulsory—it’s important. The very best help begins not with recommendation however with listening.
Our Journey Continues
Autism shouldn’t be one-size-fits-all. But, too many programs nonetheless deal with it that method. For families of color, the street is usually longer, more durable, and extra advanced. However it is usually stuffed with love, power, and resilience.
Our journey with Joshua continues. And I share it with the hope that others—dad and mom, professionals, educators, and policymakers—will hear us, consider us, and do higher.
As a result of each household deserves to be seen. And each baby deserves the possibility to thrive.
Danyale Sturdivant, MSSW, is a nationally acknowledged incapacity justice advocate, fairness strategist, and scientific social employee with over 20 years of expertise supporting racially and ethnically various communities. Because the founding father of Living Autism Out Loud, she leads initiatives that uplift the voices of marginalized households navigating autism and incapacity programs. Her work facilities on culturally responsive advocacy, household empowerment, and systemic change throughout training, well being care, and public coverage. Danyale brings lived expertise, skilled rigor, and unwavering dedication to intersectional fairness in each house she enters. Be taught extra or join at: www.livingautismoutloud.org.
