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‘We don’t have a cultural place for men as victims’: why men often don’t tell anyone about sexual abuse – AMHF

MindNell by MindNell
30/05/2025
in Men's Health & Wellness
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‘We don’t have a cultural place for men as victims’: why men often don’t tell anyone about sexual abuse – AMHF
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By Vita Pilkington, Analysis Fellow, PhD Candidate in males’s experiences of sexual trauma, The University of Melbourne; Sarah Bendall, Professorial Fellow in Youth Psychological Well being, The University of Melbourne, and Zac Seidler, Affiliate Professor, Centre for Youth Psychological Well being, The University of Melbourne

 

In Australia, it’s estimated nearly one in five boys (18.8%) expertise youngster sexual abuse. And a minimum of one in 16 men (6.1%) expertise sexual violence after age 15.

Nevertheless, many boys and males don’t inform others about these experiences. Research present males are less likely to disclose sexual abuse and assaults than ladies.

It additionally takes boys and males longer to first disclose sexual abuse or assaults. On common, males wait 21 years earlier than telling anybody about being abused.

It is a downside as a result of talking to others is usually an essential a part of understanding and recovering from these traumatic experiences. When boys and males don’t focus on these experiences, it risks their mental health problems and isolation becoming worse and so they don’t get the support they need.

We needed to grasp what prevents boys and males from telling others about sexual abuse and assaults (or “sexual trauma”). So we performed a systematic review, the place we pooled collectively proof from a variety of research on the subject.

We discovered 69 related research, which included greater than 10,500 boys and males who had skilled sexual trauma from around the globe. Research had been printed in 23 international locations throughout six continents, with most research from america, Canada and the UK. Two research had been printed in Australia.

Our new findings provide clues as to how we are able to break down the boundaries stopping males and boys from discussing sexual trauma.

Upending masculine identities

We discovered throughout international locations and cultures, boys’ and males’s sexual trauma affected their masculine identities. This included feeling as if they don’t seem to be “actual males”, or that they’re weak for having been focused and assaulted.

In one study, a participant defined:

Sexual abuse to a person is an abuse towards his manhood as properly.

Virtually universally, boys and males suffered intense emotions of disgrace and guilt about being victimised, and lots of blamed themselves for years to a long time.

Many boys and males stated they had been frightened others would suppose they had been homosexual in the event that they disclosed being abused or assaulted. This dangerous stereotype displays widespread homophobic attitudes in addition to mistaken beliefs about survivors of abuse and assaults.

Sexual abuse towards boys and males has been lengthy neglected, dismissed and misunderstood. The taboo nature of the problem was felt by individuals. As a therapist who supported male survivors of abuse stated in one study:

We don’t have a cultural place for males as victims.

LGBTQIA+ males face extra boundaries to disclosure. Some skilled misery surrounding considerations abuse or assaults somehow cause, or contribute to, their sexualities. Many additionally reported receiving unsupportive and homophobic responses after they disclosed abuse and assaults to others. This contains their tales being minimised and dismissed, or solutions they should have consented given their attraction to different males.

Stigma in the event that they do inform

In lots of instances, boys and males who tried to inform others about their sexual trauma had been met with stigmatising and unhelpful responses. Some were blamed, told they were making it up, or even mocked.

Others had been discouraged from talking out about their experiences once more. In some international locations, individuals inform boys and males to not discuss being abused or assaulted as a result of that is seen as bringing disgrace on themselves and their households.

Boys and males who had been assaulted by ladies had been typically informed their experiences can’t be categorised as abuse or assaults, or aren’t dangerous sufficient to warrant help.

Understanding why males don’t discuss

Many of those boundaries to disclosure are linked to harmful myths about sexual abuse and assaults amongst boys and males. These embody mistaken beliefs that males aren’t abused or assaulted, and that solely homosexual males are abused or assaulted.

What’s extra, many individuals consider experiencing sexual abuse or assaults is at odds with socially-held concepts about how men “should” behave: for instance, continually demonstrating bodily energy, dominance, self-reliance and toughness.

These strict concepts about what it means to be a person seem to prevent many boys and men from disclosing sexual trauma, and impression how others reply after they do disclose.

It will possibly additionally imply boys and males try to bury their difficulties after sexual trauma as a result of they really feel they’re anticipated to be unemotional and deal with their issues independently.

A man sitting in a therapy session.
If males don’t really feel snug telling anybody about their expertise, they will’t get assist. Drazen Zigic/Shutterstock

What can we do higher?

We all know having skilled sexual trauma is intently linked to vital psychological well being issues in boys and males. These embody substance abuse and dependancy, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and even suicide.

Receiving unsupportive and stigmatising responses after they attempt to search assist solely makes these issues worse, and provides to cycles of silence and disgrace.

We should break down boundaries that cease boys and males disclosing these traumatic experiences. Doing so may save lives.

Serving to boys and males disclose sexual trauma isn’t nearly encouraging them to return ahead. We’d like to ensure different individuals are ready to reply safely after they select to talk up.

There are a lot of methods to boost consciousness of the very fact sexual abuse and assault occurs to boys and males. For instance, tv reveals corresponding to Baby Reindeer helped put this problem on the forefront of conversation. Public well being campaigns that explicitly carry boys and males into discussions about sexual trauma may also be useful.

We additionally have to do extra to ensure boys and males who expertise sexual trauma have suitable places to go for support. Australia has some companies doing important work on this area, such because the Survivors & Mates Support Network. Nevertheless, extra funding and help is essential so males throughout the nation have protected areas to debate and get well from their experiences.

The Nationwide Sexual Assault, Household and Home Violence Counselling Line – 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – is out there 24 hours a day, seven days every week for any Australian who has skilled, or is liable to, household and home violence and/or sexual assault.The Conversation

Vita Pilkington, Analysis Fellow, PhD Candidate in males’s experiences of sexual trauma, The University of Melbourne; Sarah Bendall, Professorial Fellow in Youth Psychological Well being, The University of Melbourne, and Zac Seidler, Affiliate Professor, Centre for Youth Psychological Well being, The University of Melbourne

This text is republished from The Conversation beneath a Inventive Commons license. Learn the original article.





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